Symbolic ceremonies and 5 tips to make it truly yours

Are you looking at getting married or eloping abroad or to a place that is remote? Or simply to make your marriage ceremony as personal as possible? Then a symbolic ceremony might be for you! This type of ceremony is flexible to be exactly what and where you want it to be and is just as real and emotional as a religious or civil wedding. But how do you set it up and who will lead it? I’ll walk you through everything you need to know and give you my 5 top tips to make it personal just for you.

What is a symbolic ceremony?

Just like a religious or civil ceremony, a symbolic ceremony is a wedding ceremony to celebrate your love and promise your future to each other. Another word for Symbolic ceremony is also Commitment ceremony, you commit your lives to one another. There is really no different between the two terms.

The biggest difference between a religious or civil ceremony is that the Symbolic ceremony is not legally binding. That means that if you want to be legally wed, you will need to do this separately. For many couples getting married abroad, this is a common alternative and they chose to get legally married either before or after their actual wedding.

Another thing that sets Symbolic ceremonies and Commitment ceremonies apart from legally binding ones is the flexibility through which it can be done. For example, in some countries like Spain, a civil ceremony needs to be held at a Town hall or Civil registry and can not be performed at a rented venue, restaurant or out in nature.

Who can perform it?

Anyone can perform a Symbolic ceremony, as it is not legally binding. This means that you can have a friend or family member officiate. There are also people who work as professional officiants for Symbolic ceremonies that you can hire.

If choosing to hire a professional officiant there are a few things to consider. First of all make sure to have a meeting with the officiant before you book them, you want to make sure you feel a connection and that they understand your vision for your day. Also always make sure to have a contract so that you know your rights and what happens if the celebrant for example gets ill on the big day. 

If you are getting married in or around Barcelona, here are some celebrant tips for you:

Clare Tutte https://celebrantbarcelona.com/The wedding man https://www.theweddingman.eu/

Are there any mandatory parts?

The easy answer is No! You can do whatever you want for your Commitment ceremony. This makes it so much fun & personal, but can feel a bit overwhelming at the same time. Therefore I put together some parts that you could include.

• Welcome speech
• Vows – write your own or use more classical ones  found in religious & civil ceremonies
• Say “I do”
• Ring exchange
• Music
• Love poems
• A speech by the officiant about you
• Entrance & exit
• First kiss

Will a Symbolic ceremony feel like a real marriage ceremony?

YES! I have been to multiple Symbolic ceremonies and no one has ever told me that it did not feel “real”. There have been some couples that were worried beforehand, but after they have all said that it was no difference to a legally binding ceremony for them. What matters is the intention you have set for the ceremony in your own mind.

Symbolic ceremonies for Elopements and Bigger weddings

Symbolic ceremonies and Commitment ceremonies can be held at everything from larger weddings to small elopements. As it is totally up to you how you want to perform it, it does not matter if it’s only the two of you reading your vows & doing a ring exchange or if you hire an officiant to lead it with all of your friends and family present.

5 tips to make it personal

As the opportunities with having a Symbolic wedding ceremony are endless, it might be difficult to know where to start. And as it is a moment to celebrate your love, why not make it as personal as possible? Here are some tips to get you going in your planning.

Read your own vows to each other

Nothing is more personal than sharing your own vows at your wedding ceremony. It’s literally the “shout your love from the top of the rooftops” kind of moment. Take your time to write vows that reflect your journey together, your promises and the dreams you have for your future.

Have a unity ritual

A unity ritual can be a beautiful way of symbolizing the merging of your lives. This can be a cultural ritual that resonates with you or something that you come up with together. Options can be a handfasting ritual, a sand ceremony, blending two types of wine or lighting a unity candle.

Invite family and friends to participate – present or not

There are multiple ways of inviting your loved ones to participate in your ceremony other than asking them to officiate. For example to ask them to share a reading, poem or even a blessing. Either find a text that you feel represents you both, or ask them to find one that tells the story of you through their eyes.

If you’re having an elopement and no family or friends present there are still ways to incorporate them if you wish. Ask them to record a reading, poem or speech that you listen to during your ceremony, or have them do it live through a video call. You can also ask them to write letters to you beforehand that the two of you open and read together.

Select personal music

Having music at your ceremony provides a wonderful moment to breathe and be present together. Choose music that has special meaning to you or that makes you think of your bond to each other. This song will always bring you back to that moment in time when you said your “I do’s”. Music is also a good way to “pause” between everything else that might be happening at your ceremony.

Bring Special Mementos

Incorporate items that have sentimental value to you. Like family heirlooms, a favorite book, photographs of people no longer with you or symbols from places you’ve traveled together. Display them at the ceremony or hold them as you say your vows to make the moment even more meaningful.

Having a Symbolic ceremony is just as special!

Choosing to have a Symbolic ceremony will feel just as “real” and special on your wedding day – because it is! It is the moment you make your vows and say yes to each other, regardless if you do the legal part separately. It also has the added benefit of being so flexible that you can make it truly your own. If you’re thinking about it – go for it!! And please reach out for more tips & tricks for your ceremony and to capture it together.